I often hear a big misconception when I listen to people talking about victims of domestic violence. They often assume these women as “insecure” and they falsely believe that the reason women are in an abusive relationship is because they have “low self-esteem.” I cringe every time I hear this. Some of the strongest, most persevering, resilient women are women in abusive relationships… Read more
Women who have lived the abuse are often considered “broken” or assumed to have “baggage.” On the contrary, they are often some of the strongest women you will meet. They are street smart and they have learned how to survive. They have learned how to stay strong. They have learned how to keep their wits about them in high stress situations. They can think fast and have learned how to stay on their toes. Read more
As I sat in the backyard reading, once again I noticed the cat sitting quietly a few feet away from me, just watching me in silence. Over the past month she began appearing in my backyard. For the past week or two I find her sitting next to my backyard chair where I sit to read. Here she is tonight. I had never pet her before because I’m allergic to cats. Tonight she locked eyes with me and just stared, as if she was speaking to me. This prompted me to put down my book, walk over to her and kneel down. She “meowed”, stood up, walked over to me and started rubbing against my leg.
A single experience in life does not define “who” we are. What makes us “who” we are is the whole of all our experiences, not just a part. Our job doesn’t define us, where we live doesn’t define us, a trauma that we experienced, or a bad choice that we made, does not define who we are. No one aspect of our life has the power to define “who” we are. When we leave those pieces of our life for something new we are not losing anything, but simply saying “goodbye,” and tucking those pieces away into a place in our heart that remains with us forever. Its how we deal with those pieces, that define who we are. When we know how to process those experiences and the emotions they present we can use them to enrich our lives, rather than hinder. Even the painful ones. All experiences are here to teach us something about ourselves, and sometimes the hardest experiences are the ones that teach us the most.
We all hold on to the past, those people and memories that served us in some way. Maybe they brought joy to our lives, or gave us hope for our future, maybe they distracted us from doing something we really didn’t want to do. But, ask yourself “Are the choices I make today because I am still holding on to yesterday?” Holding on to the past can be a wonderful way to cherish those memories and people dear to your heart if it doesn’t prevent you from being present to today.
Sometimes we fear forgetting the memory of the voice, the touch, the smell, someone’s eyes who you will never look into again. “What if I forget what color their eyes are?” “What if one day I can no longer hear their voice in my mind as if they are still sitting beside me?”
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